The best way to Speak to Girls: Using Your Listening Expertise
“Listening is a natural aphrodisiac.”
Unfortunately, according to Dr. Bommelje, “we humans are pretty terrible listeners – because we were never taught how.”
Results from an online poll seem to support this statement. The findings show that about a third of the pet-owning married women surveyed said their dogs or cats listen better than their spouses. Same goes for the fairer sex. About 18% of men said their own pets listened far better than their wives did.
Let’s go to your own experience. Have you met a lady who you felt was a terrific listener? Who gave you much room to express yourself and seemed to understand you better as a result? Who you feel was worth seeing again because of that?
Note that appearance wasn’t even one of the considerations. More than your clothes or your physical attributes, it’s how you use what you have and make the other person feel that matters most. Of course, appearance is key to getting female attention. But you should reveal even better things once you do get the chance to interact with a lovely lady. And that’s where listening comes in.
Listening helps you know how to talk to girls and make a real connection. It’s what makes you different from the rest of the pack and gets you noticed. As you may know, men aren’t very well known for being good listeners. So sharpen your own skills in this department – soon you will have the ladies eating out of your hands.
Check the Tone
The word “yes” can be said in a myriad of ways and, as a result, can also take on many nuances. A “yes” said with enthusiasm and a “yes” said in exhaustion convey different things. The former should tell you that the speaker is happy and positive while the latter indicates that the one you are asking is maybe reluctantly agreeing with you. It can be due to many reasons, which you should investigate. But if you don’t detect the differences in the nuances, you bypass the underlying message and end up being disconnected or insensitive to the other person.
So, when you talk to a potential date, note the nuances in her responses and investigate whether she means something else than the words she utters. Is her tone hopeful? Is she being dismissive of you? Is she interested? Knowing these things will help you shift gears and use a more appropriate approach before she formally rejects your advances.
Confirm What You Hear
One of the things that turn off the ladies big time is mishearing or misunderstanding what they say. You wouldn’t want to create friction with that gorgeous girl you’re so wanting to become your next arm candy. To keep things moving smoothly, paraphrase or restate what she said to indicate you got what she meant and that you were paying attention to the words tumbling out of her lips. But don’t parrot the statements back at her. Instead, rephrase them using other words or in a more concise way
She: Oh I just moved to this town because I wanted to have a career change. I wanted to get into the entertainment industry and make it big as an actress and maybe as a recording artist.
You: I see. So you want to be known as a multitalented celebrity? That’s impressive!
Get the gist of it?
Read Her Eyes
Don’t focus too much on her words. Her body and, most especially, her eyes may be giving you clues on what she really means or how your conversation should be unravelling. See that twinkle as she responds to you? Rev up your moves and be more audacious. You might just get lucky.
What if it’s wariness you see? Then spend more time getting to know her. Talk about safe topics like hobbies and common friends, if you have them.
Rather than reacting when she says something negative, you should roll with the punch and counter her with a question or statement that will help clarify what she means.
If she says “I don’t like (your favorite basketball/baseball/football team) cause they (negative description),” you should respond with something along the lines of “I wonder what made you say that” or “Which is the better team then?”
It’s all in the ears. Listen well and you will get that girl.